Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Shes One

Its been a year...a year today.  God blessed us with our sweet Violet Grace.  We were not even sure we would get to keep her in the beginning.  Before we even knew she was a she!  He has had her in His capable hands the whole time.  By my calculations, keep in mind I am horrible at math already, but by my calculations I was only five weeks pregnant and bad things were happening. Cramping and everything that follows.  Everything that told me this baby may not make it.  It was my biggest fear!  My heart was seriously breaking with the thought that the doctor would say those dreaded words.  My mother in law  came over immediately and took care of the boys. We prayed together after we got in the car but for the most part Josh and I rode silently holding hands to the hospital.  The nurse asked a series of questions and settled us in.  Then God gave us Dr. Stucky.  She knew what we needed to hear without giving us false hope.  She knew we were Christians and used His word for comfort.  I just remember closing my eyes and holding Josh's hand as she began searching for the baby.  Then she said, " Your not five weeks, your nine weeks!  And there is the heart beat!"
        Nine months later that tiny heart beat turned into 6 pounds 11 oz of  sweet crying cuteness.  It was the first time I had been awake for the birth of any of my kids. My third c-section.  strange experience to say the least.  Ill spare the gory details.  Lets just say my hubby could not watch.  We were super shocked to hear, "Its a girl!"  No way!  I thought for sure it was another bouncing baby boy!  But according to Josh, I was way more emotional with this pregnancy.  OK maybe I was.  But then the nurses whisked our Violet Grace away.  She was struggling to breath on her own.  I was so numb and sedated that I don't think I really grasped what was going on until I got into my room and realized my baby was not with me.  Josh reassured me that she was being well taken care of and carefully watched.  But I could tell that he was holding it together for my sake.  He felt sad, worried and helpless to see her that way, but God gave him peace about it all soon after.  6 days later after jaundice and many needle pricks and tubes here and there, we finally got to take her home.  But not before they said, and literally minutes before we were about to leave,  "Oh by the way, your baby has mild hip displatia, (or however you spell this)  and she will need to ware this crazy uncomfortable hip/leg brace for a couple months.  Good to know!  So we took our little girl home.  Our little girl!
Needless to say after a few doctors visits Violet was given the ok to be done with the brace.  We had ditched it long before that, feeling she did not need it anyway.  It just did not seem right.  We went with our gut.  The x rays showed two perfectly developed hip bones right where they needed to be.  God is faithful!  Its funny how even when we go with our gut feeling, that nudging of  God to just trust Him, we still have shadows of doubt?  The Sunday before Violets final doctors visit My sweet friend Carol prayed over Violet with me. she prayed this verse, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy will come in the morning." She knew without question that it would all be OK.  That Violets hips would be made whole.  She was right.  I know it does not sound like much when you hear the pains that people endure but I was already fearing what might be, what surgery she might have to go through and would it work, losing sleep over it! And just in case the Lord thought I needed more, after already hearing the good news from the Dr., a song came on that sang the exact same verse Psalm 30:5.  I balled like a baby.  Josh was like, "So are you going to be OK to go to lunch?" So now here we are, parents of three.  Three!  Yes its a bit harder and yes it is more and yes I am selfish about sleep, but I would not trade it for anything. Its grown us and shown us even more how much we need Gods strength daily. Nothing blesses me more than to see Korban kiss his sister or Benjamin give her a toy. 
       Since then, our Violet Grace has grown.  She crawls all over the place, laughs, talks, hugs and kisses, loves her brothers and has stolen our hearts.  Today we had cake pops, photo shoot, (thank goodness she is patient with this camera crazy mamma)  presents and the mother of all cupcakes.

.  Today she is one.

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