Did you ever have that feeling that something big was going to happen? So much that you just couldn't shake the feeling? Lately I have felt this way, well I felt this way back in September but I continued to second guess myself thinking that it was not God putting this on my heart but my own self niggling thoughts and emotions. November 2 confirmed everything for me. I had just stopped by Josh's work with the boys so they could say hi to daddy and then continued on to the grocery store for milk and TP. I had this odd craving for Stuffed grape leaves and Kraft Macaroni and cheese. Weird I know! Who eats those two things together? Immediately I decided that I would buy a take home pregnancy test and find out what was really going on. So there were a few more things to my shopping list. I had taken several tests already a few weeks before do to that niggling feeling and they all were negative. We were not trying to have a baby yet and I kept saying that I really was not ready but somehow I still felt bummed and disappointed. With the boys locked out of the bathroom and preoccupied....for a short time...I did the fun little test and really really really could not believe my eye's! Two little lines. So I take another one from a different brand that I forgot I already had and it too was positive. O.K. Kristina now what do we do with all this excitement? You can't tell Korban because he will tell everybody and Your husband is busy at work.....Benjamin can't talk yet so I will tell him later. The other cool part, sometimes I think I forget that God is always there. He is there in my Joy, sorrow, accomplishments, everything. So I shared my joy with Him. The boys were in bed and I cracked open my Bible to the place I had last been in Psalms. It was Psalm 128:3, 4 "Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed, who fears the Lord." O.K God I'm listening, I believe you now and I am sorry for doubting this joyous news.
The day could not go by- any- slower. I waited until the boys were in bed to tell Josh. So I showed him the psalm and waited to see what he would say. He did not say much, but that it was a neat Psalm. "I'm pregnant." Pause...." What! How?" was his shocked and surprised answer. Nothing makes me tear up more than seeing my husband tear up, let me tell you.
We did not want to tell anyone until Christmas and when I was further along. I had this whole plan in my head of what Christmas morning would be like breaking the happy news to my parents and in-Laws and catching it all on video. Grandma reactions are the best and to have it on video is so fun. But God new better. He knew what would happen on the 15th of November just after Josh left the house for Men's Bible study. I called him in tears, fearful that I was losing the baby. I was not sure what to expect and thought it would be more painful than it was. How do you put on a happy face for your children when your very heart is breaking? Josh came home and comforted me, we prayed....a lot. I felt in my heart of hearts that this baby was so meant to be. I made it through the night and things seemed to be improving but there were still signs of a problem. Kaiser was great and fast at arranging to see me ASAP. My Mom-In law came over at the drop of a hat and took care of the boys so Josh and I could head down the hill. I don't think we said more than 5 words the whole time, just quiet. After being stuck with a needle and sitting in a waiting room for some time, a nurse called us in. She asked a few questions and seemed perplexed at my answers which kind of made me worry. It usually is not good when a nurse or doctor has a perplexed look on their face right? Then Dr. Vera Stuckey comes in. She was a God send....really. She learned we were Christians and said that she was too. She knew what we were going through and comforted us with a few Bible Verses that God has given us for encouragement and understanding. You see, I thought I was only 5 weeks along since I had my lovely woman week about 6 weeks ago. So her, thinking the same thing was preparing us for the worst seeing as how the baby would not even be able to give us a visible heart beat yet, and for the best that it could just be nothing at all. I was afraid to look at the screen, so I looked at my husband, head down in his hands praying. "Huh?!" Says Dr. Vera. "Looks like you are further along than 5 weeks, there is a heart beat!" Praise God thank you Jesus was all I could say. We were so relieved! There was our 8 and a half week old baby, one inch long and with a strong heart! We left the hospital that day with such joy and thanksgiving. She told me though that situations like this can be 50/50 until I am past the first trimester so I had to be careful not to overdo anything or lift anything too heavy and to try to take it as easy as one can with two little boys.
Needless to say I feel like the baby is thriving off all of my cravings and I am coping with nausea every day which I have to say is probably a good sign that things are doing what they are supposed to be doing. So June 8th is the due date and I seriously feel like it is right- around- the- corner. So please pray if you think of us, it would be very much appreciated:) Do we want to find out? No. We are going to make everybody wait until June....neener neeener:)
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